#like I'm having too many feelings and thoughts about things that don't matter at all

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm going to try to articulate my thoughts as a nonbinary person. I kind of hate that people are writing off being nonbinary as purely an umbrella label. I also don't really think that many people think you can be nonbinary in a way that's divorced from any form of binary gender. Online it feels like I'm expected to disclose if I'm "transmasc" or "transfem", which I'm putting in quotes because it feels like "what are you, really?" but with a trans coat of paint. People act as though sharing your AGAB is mandatory for participation in queer discussions. IRL my identity isn't respected. I get misgendered a lot, both as "female" and "male". I understand disliking nonbinary as a catch all for "atypical" gender identities, but I don't necessarily think that being nonbinary is easier. You're not saying it is, I'm just. Frustrated that some people think being nonbinary is hypothetically "easier" than their identity. In some ways, it might be. We still aren't respected or regarded as legitimate, though. Maybe I'm reading too heavily into it, and no one is actually insinuating that. Kind of feels like it, though. Sorry this ask is a bit of a mess. I'm bad at articulating things.

it's a pain in the ass no matter what "third" or "other" gender term you use because people just make assumptions about you no matter what. genderqueer and nonbinary people have a hell of a time getting people to understand our genders in very unique ways. i definitely don't think nonbinary people have it easy by any means. people are rude af. people think it means "femme/woman-lite" or "completely 3rd gender" and it's rude as hell. not all gender experiences that fall outside of the male-female binary are nonbinary, not all "other" gender experiences fall outside of the male-female binary... there's a lot of nuance and people seem to lose all of it for the trees

i think people are generally pretty damn rude toward nonbinary people in general, honestly. i find it very rare to see people who treat nonbinary people with genuine respect. like even though i don't view myself as nonbinary i greatly dislike the sheer amount of disrespect NB people face because it's exhausting. i don't know what you experience as a nonbinary person, but i do know what you experience as someone who's not just a man or a woman and how people look at us like we're aliens. it's awful

i get what you're saying. people are assholes about "other" genders and it's exhausting. nonbinary people don't have it any easier just because it's slightly more well known than genderqueer, genderfluid, etc.

[hansoeii]

I want to use this opportunity as well to warn all of you (especially the younger ones) about the dangers of meeting your favorite stars at conventions, or anywhere else.

You are the fan and they are the star, which means there is a power dynamic here and sadly, some of those stars are aware of it and use it to their advantage.

I experienced this myself when I was a young teen, before the Me Too movement in 2017 began, and I was not yet aware of how evil people can be. I clearly looked like a young girl too when I went up to this one "star" at his booth cos I felt bad that no one was waiting in his line (I genuinely do not remember who it was, just a small, middle aged actor from the walking dead) and he started flirting with me. Telling me how nice I looked, how nice I was, how much he liked my glasses, etc. As a kid, I did not see the red flags. I thought he was a nice guy. But looking back, I know what he was trying to do. And now I know badly things could've ended. Sadly, now I'm also aware that a lot of the time, for many young people, they do.

Please be aware of the red flags. These people are strangers, no matter how much you look up to them. They don't know you and you don't know them. Do not let them touch you without consent, same as you should not touch them without their consent either.

If you have children that frequent conventions, please look out for them. Make sure they're safe and don't let them go up to people that give you a weird feeling.

Thank you. Please stay safe.

Since a lot of people follow me on here, and a lot of those people have followed me for Good Omens and/or the Sandman, I want to make all of you aware of what is going on, in case some of you have missed it.

A new article by the Vulture about Neil Gaiman has come out. It's an incredibly detailed and graphic read. I still wasn't able to read all of it, because it makes me incredibly sick to my stomach.

I hope he rots first in jail and then in the deepest depth of hell.

I have linked the article below. Please be careful, it's a difficult read.

There Is No Safe Word

How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades. by Lila Shapiro

I wish nothing but love and healing to the victims. Thank you for having the strength to bring this to light and share your stories.

[margridarnauds]

Too afraid to ask. But what do you mean by people complaining that remake of Nosferatu is not Dracula? The characters have different names and it’s in different setting and even themes are different

You would think, Anon, you'd really think.

I've seen a number of posts in the tags complaining that there isn't a cowboy, that Mina would do this, that Jonathan would do that, why is there this psychosexual connection between Ellen and Orlock (I mean, it isn't there in the OG in the way it is in the 2024, no, but he does see her image and become obsessed, so there was some element of it as early as the 1922), why does Mina have more agency than Ellen (...we can talk about agency in 2024 Nosferatu, but first, we've got to accept that Ellen, in both 1922 and 2024, is in a totally different situation from Mina Murray.)

(I also think there's something to be said for equating "agency" with "writing female characters well", given that sometimes, female characters don't have agency deliberately, as a way of delivering a message. I feel like Ellen is a much more vulnerable character than Mina in general, but I also don't think that means she's an inherently worse character; it's all in the quality of the writing.)

Usually, these posts are phrased in a very....memey way, if that makes sense? Not in the sense that the complaints themselves are memes, but in an "I don't want to make immediate judgement calls, but I suspect that your involvement with Dracula begins and ends with DD and *maybe* the Coppola film, which is fine, far be it from me to gatekeep the 19th century vampire novel and its related media, but it does mean that your understanding of the legacy of Dracula, including the 1922 Nosferatu, is going to be...limited" way. I've also seen posts, for that matter, comparing visual shots of Coppola and Nosferatu (2024), arguing that Nosferatu (2024) is paying homage to the Coppola...when the Coppola shots are a reference to Nosferatu (1922).

And, on the record, I'm not saying "Nosferatu is the best film EVER, how dare you criticize it!" (...as I keep trying to emphasize, I am STILL trying to sort out MY thoughts and they definitely aren't single-minded worship) or "You can't possibly compare these two pieces of vampire media". I think the relationship between Dracula and Nosferatu, both 1922 and 2024, is complex. Nosferatu isn't just a knock-off of Dracula (even if it wasn't legally distinct enough for a 1920s copyright suit), but, at the same time, it is also intricately entwined with the adaptation history of Dracula, and it isn't a one-way history. In the same way that Nosferatu very obviously takes...a lot of inspiration from Dracula, every time a Dracula adaptation has Dracula see Mina's portrait, or that features Dracula dying via sunlight, it is borrowing from Nosferatu. With the 2024 remake, it's even more complex, because now we're dealing with an adaptation of a bootlegged adaptation of a novel, which, in turn, brings in material from the OG novel (Dafoe's character being expanded from the character of Bulwer in the OG, Knock eating animals, Orlok's mustache, the expansion of Anna and Harding from the OG to be slightly more Lucy and Holmwood-esque even though they are still distinct) while also doing its own thing in other ways.

...basically, I can see the impulse, but I also hadn't realized how many people weren't aware of the 1922 film? Or at least...weren't more curious about where the 2024 comes from? I'm seeing people on Reddit also having this trouble (I have compunctions about sharing Tumblr posts, due to how easy it is to reverse search, even with this website's terrible search function, and I don't really feel comfortable drawing attention to individual posts, especially when their main problem is just...narrow-mindedness and a lack of curiosity, not like. Outright bigotry.) :

(Interestingly, this thread had people saying that OP was being a snob for expecting people to be aware of a hundred year old film -- which, again...I wouldn't say I'm judging people for NOT being familiar with it, it's just...it's such a big part of pop culture and pop cultural vampirism that I'm *surprised*. But then again, my first interaction with Orlok was in a children's book of monsters and my mom used to recount a PG version of the Coppola film to me when we ate at Denny's when I was, like, 7-8, so I'll also accept that I might have just been an exceptionally goth child.)

Anyway, tl;dr: Adaptation is complicated, especially with this particular film, I think the film is doing varying things with the Dracula tradition while also being its own distinctive part of it (which is NOT in and of itself me saying the film is flawless), I don't want to make fun of people for simply not knowing but I do think that DD has created this environment of "if it does literally anything different from the OG novel it's bad" while itself often providing a memeified understanding of the novel itself and its impact and legacy, and apparently my viewpoint on what is common knowledge is skewed by my being a little goth child.

...and now I need to watch the Herzog because my guilty admission is that I've mainly ignored the Nosferatu side of Dracula adaptations for years and that should probably be rectified.

[stellarremnantsau]

How does the author feel about her cast?

1: Nightmare/Remnant/Night = He's my CHILD. I love him. He's exactly how I think a true Nightmare would be. He's so snarky and dramatic and I love him to BITS! 2: Killer = Second favorite surprisingly! I poured so much into his personality and dynamic. He's so complicated and messed up and I love a good, flawed character. 3: Ink = My ADHD boi. My poor poor forgetful bean. I was very hesitant about his character and how I was going to portray him, but I think I like what I settled on. He's so fun to write and it was cool to take the canon soullessness approach with him. 4: Corrupt/Corrupted "Nightmare" = The glorious stuck-up parasite. I love his character and how I arranged his personality and qualities. He's so horrible and I LOVE it! Everyone wishes him to suffer and that's fantastic. Love a villain that is written to be hated, and I think I did well with that! Corrupt gets a gold star for be awful like his creator intended. 5: Horror = The older brother character. He's so dang sweet and genuine. His backstory took so dang long to figure out and it was longer then Corrupts and Corrupt had 500 years of timeline to organize. He does so many small things in the story that just feel so RIGHT for his character. 6: Dream = My socially anxious child! ahhhh!!! He hasn't gone through his character arc yet so this 6th place rating might change, but he's so nervous and worried and tired and someone help the poor boi omg. 7: Blue = I'm surprised he's this low on the list but OH WELL. BLUE the best friend. The guy in your corner. They guy who somehow hates Ink- I don't know how that happened, and I wrote him! I have so much planned for his character omg. 8: Error = I think I have thought too much about his character even though I haven't written much in his POV. I do have much off a feel for is character yet though I like what he's got going for him so far so we will see. For now, 8th place. 9: Dust = Don't get me wrong, I love him. just not as much as the others. He hasn't had his arc yet! This might change. He's complicated, but he's quite about it. 10: Cross = This BORING ASS PLAIN ASS character. I wish him PAIN. UGH. He better become more interesting during his arc! He is NOTHING to me!!! (Side Note - I love all my characters, but I can list them from favorite to least favorite. Most of these are just lower because they have not had their arcs. To be fair, none of the characters have had their arcs yet. I have arcs planned for EACH of them. Don't worry if your favorite is lower on this list, I put the same amount of care and thought into EVERY character no matter how I feel about them.)

[ylangelegy]

harrowing kae (pt. 3)

DINO DAUNTLESS DINO DAUNTLESS DINO DAUNTLESS ✊ i would absolutely spar (and lose) to dauntless dino

tara, my dearest, i have nothing to show for my dauntless!dino wip except bullet points and one too many photos of how i imagine he would look like... as a dauntless security force member :)

[set pre-pre-divergent canon, which means eric and four are not yet in dauntless]

chan who is born in amity, and it's good, it's nice, it works, but it doesn't feel right. he's from a family that's fairly well-off in the faction. if he chooses to stay, he'll be set for life. marry some nice girl, farm his days away! he should be happy... right?

except he obviously isn't, and everybody knows it. his family is restless about him moving factions; their refrain/whispered prayer is relatively to-be-expected. go to erudite, go to abnegation, sure. anything but dauntless. anything but dauntless.

alas, chan lives to defy expectations. the more he's told "don't do it", the more he thinks the idea is appealing. next thing you know, he's cutting his palm over the coals of dauntless with that almost dopey grin on his face.

except chan kind of sucks. he passes initiation through the skin of his teeth. he's good with the physical aspect— body trained with years of toil— but he barely gets by through the emotional/mental aspects of the tests. he's goaded for being a pansy, one of those 'tree-hugging amity fuckers', and he gets into just enough fights that he's threatened by his trainers that he'll be factionless by the end of this whole thing.

he survives. by the grace of his old faction's gods, he survives, and chan is assigned to be a fence guard. he thrives a little more here, his amity sensibilities making it ideal for him to interact face-to-face with people. he gets promoted to the security force, where he maintains a cushy position involving keeping the City safe.

[branching plot points — need to decide which plot to go with considering this ↑ chan!]

dauntless!mc - either 1) dauntless born!mc who was in the same initiation class as chan. was so good that everyone thought she'd end up a dauntless leader, but has a seeming 'fall from grace' when she ends up in the security force alongside a bemused chan. "doesn't matter where we came from. we all end up in the same place, don't we?" or 2) dauntless!mc who works as a nurse and has to deal with chan's bullshit. "why are you always getting injured?" "maybe i'm trying to find an excuse to see you. ever think of that?"

amity!mc - the girl/life that chan left behind. she's a counsellor now, and chan is assigned to be one of her security detail. "do you ever regret the choices that you made?" "i don't. i can't."

factionless!mc - the factionless are restless, and prior to the arrival of evelyn johnson-eaton, there was mc. mc struggles to manage the ragtag group of factionless into a more coherent system, and chan has to reckon with what the City is expecting to be an uprising.

[because-its-eurovision]

Hi! How are you? ☺️

Alive!

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[leapinarmadillo]

ohhhh. i forgot that people used to say michael was getting surgeries in order to look like diana ross. ugh. i don't think there's anything to that but............ugh.

[medicinemane]

Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them

Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening

It's all I really ask

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[jinxessticktogether]

my mother will see textbook depression and then decide it just pisses her off

[evilkitten3]

#naruto is a cowardly and inmature narrative bc the author didn't want to deal with the consequences of the premise he himself created#that's why talk no jutsu worked on obito and pein despite these two spousing extreme ideologies which shouldn't fade away that easily#that's why sasuke's character arc was thrashed instead of him realistically ending up dead bc he was alone w/ no plan aside from magnicide#that's why madara was packed up in the most baffling way mid war arc despite having been foreshadowed for ages#that's why the aliens were introduced to the story out of the blue. to take focus away from the fascist hellscape that is the shinobi world#kishi wanted to have his cake and eat it too and it took away from his story#naruto could've been a masterpiece#it's all in the ✨potential✨

ALL OF THIS

actually maybe i do think kishimoto is conscious that he's written a fascist military-industrial complex. i think he's super duper aware on some level lmao

[hard-core-super-star]

losing focus [W.Maximoff + N.Romanoff]

pairing: dom!wanda maximoff x sub!reader x dom!natasha romanoff

summary: as unexpected as it is, you become a permanent part of wanda and natasha's relationship.

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT -> porn with very little plot but many feelings; mommy + daddy kink; implied dom/sub dynamics; mentions of petplay; fingering [R receiving]; cunnilingus [R receiving]; overstimulation; nipple play; so many petnames; wanda and nat being competitive; badly proofread

wordcount: 3.7k

a/n: hi again! so, i was originally supposed to post a bishova fic today buuuut i got too attached and wrote a part two of "push me on the counter, call me princess" because i could. i hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

It's difficult to define what your relationship with the witch and her grumpy assassin girlfriend has turned into. 

You know you're not really a part of their relationship, at least not officially, but you're not a mere observer either. Your main connection is with Wanda, which Natasha doesn't seem to mind, but the three of you are well aware of the way you simply started...joining them...all the time.

It started with small things. With Wanda inviting you to sit on her lap during movie nights. With Natasha begrudgingly letting the witch tie you down on their shared bed. With both of them holding you close at night, each of them murmuring some excuse about why they needed the physical contact.

You didn't mind. What kind of fool would mind being sandwiched between two of the most fearsome and beautiful Avengers?

But it very quickly stopped being enough for you.

You didn't want to be greedy, you knew your connection with Wanda wasn't right in the first place. You should have never allowed her to enchant you to the point of weaseling your way into her relationship.

And yet here you are.

Tucked under Wanda's arm while you watch her favorite sitcom.

A part you of you wants to be unhappy. To act like you don't want to be part of this.

But the truth is you do.

You really like this.

"You're thinking too much, detka." There's no judgement in the witch's tone, just the soothing sound of her accent. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You shake your head, instantly feeling overwhelmed from the mere thought of sharing your worries with her. You're not even sure why you're worried. Why there's a part of you that can't seem to settle, despite how warm and comfortable the older woman's embrace is.

"I'm fine," you mumble.

Wanda hates it when you mumble, but you can't help it. You also can't help the way you turn toward her, your face finding refuge in the crook of her neck.

She allows it for it now. Clearly, she doesn't need to read your thoughts to know how much you're struggling with them.

You want to feel embarrassed about it, but it's hard to feel anything except her palm pressing into your side. Her fingers slip under the hem of your (well...Natasha's) shirt and she draws small circles against your skin.

The two of you stay like that for a while. Wanda watches her show and you catch glimpses of it whenever you gather the courage to peak your head up and out of the comfort of her neck.

You've practically settled into the comfort when the door opens and your bubble of safety is popped.

Your shoulders tense until you hear the telltale sound of Natasha's sigh. There's an edge of annoyance to the sound that you've grown to associate with her. "Wanda, if you wanted a pet, we could have just gotten a cat."

Her words make the witch chuckle despite herself. She knew, no matter how cold the other woman acted, she was simply pretending. It was always easier for her to put her walls back up when she was unsure of something instead of going with the flow.

"Hello to you too, sweetheart."

Wanda gives your side a small pinch, not to hurt you but to encourage you to say hi. You don't really want to, you're still not sure how to act around the older woman, but you do it anyway.

"Hi, Nat."

The redhead rolls her eyes, but the corners of her lips quirk up into the smallest of smiles. "Hello, kitten. Have you been behaving?"

It's a small thing but it's a start. A reminder that she doesn't actually dislike you and she's not mad at the way things have turned out.

That maybe...she's softer than she looks.

"Yes, Daddy," you reply, a soft blush coating your cheeks as you address Natasha by her title. "I listened to Mommy all day."

The small smile on the redhead's face grows at your words. As tough as she looks, she completely adores the way you instantly submit to her without any objections. The way it all seems so natural. So weirdly right.

"Without pouting?" She asks, raising her eyebrow in the way that makes you tremble.

The idea of lying crosses your mind but you know better than that. Plus, there's no use in lying when you're sitting next to a literal mind reader.

"Well...no. But it wasn't my fault!"

Natasha doesn't seem convinced, although she does seem amused. Her eyes drift to Wanda, who can't seem to wipe the proud grin off her face. "It wasn't?"

"It wasn't," the witch replies. "She just got pouty because I told her we had to wait for you before we could play."

"Oh, I see. So, you didn't get pouty, you got needy, is that right?"

You nod, her tone making your head swim in an all too familiar way.

Natasha crawls into bed and shifts herself until she's laying down between your spread legs. The flimsy material of your shorts does little to keep your arousal hidden away from the older woman.

"Come here, detka," Wanda murmurs as her hands grip your hips.

She effortlessly lifts you up until you're sitting between her legs, your back pressed firmly against her front. It's a subtle show of dominance, a reminder that despite Natasha's stubbornness, Wanda's the one in charge. The one you actually belong to.

But there's also a soft side to it. A reminder that she's right there in case things get too overwhelming. That you can back out at any moment and they won't be upset.

It's far too late for that, though. Far too late to act like you don't want them both. Like you don't need them.

Natasha's hands bring you back. Her fingers trail a teasing path up your thighs until they reach the waistband of your shorts.

There's a wordless question in her gaze. One that makes your heart skip a beat.

You nod in response and she wastes no time in getting rid of the garments in the way.

Her eyes take in every inch of exposed skin, the softness in her smile turning slightly predatory. It's a sight you're growing very used to seeing.

"Look at you," she coos, although her tone is far more teasing than sweet. "You're already so wet for us. Mommy's left you needy for too long, huh?"

"I'm not the bad guy here," Wanda says with a chuckle. "It wasn't my idea."

Natasha rolls her eyes but your attention is captured by the witch and her warm hands that slip under your shirt. Her fingers make their way up your torso, her nails dragging against your skin and making your back arch in response.

"Don't listen to her, detka, she's just jealous."

You nod along to the redhead's words even though they don't fully register in your mind. All you know is you're stuck between them as they engage in yet another unnecessary competition.

Wanda notices first, far too used to the subtle cues that give away your growing dependence on them. Your growing need to let go and let them take over.

"There you go, sweetheart, doesn't that feel nice?" Her voice is soft and sweet in your ear, a constant lullaby that allows you to sink deeper against her.

"Mhmm," you hum, your hands reaching out for Natasha as her lips join her fingers in exploring your skin.

The witch is quick to stop you before you get too carried away. Her hands wrap around your wrists and she holds them down, allowing her girlfriend to keep teasing you. "Just relax, baby, Nat knows what to do."

You don't doubt her words for a second, but you also don't doubt the teasing mood the redhead seems to be in. You would complain if you weren't so busy trying to keep yourself still.

It's easier said than done, though, and Natasha quickly tightens her grip on your thighs, keeping you exposed to her gaze and completely still. "Come on, detka, don't you want to show Mommy what a good girl you are?"

Her words make your hips buck, but instead of teasing you for it, she sives right into the main event. Her breath ghosts the most sensitive part of your body before her lips wrap around your swollen clit.

The sensation borders on far too much far too quickly and yet the pleasure seems to overwhelm your body before the sensitivity hits you. Your head falls back against Wanda's shoulder as your lips part in a long moan.

The witch takes advantage of your change in position and attaches her lips to your neck, switching back and forth between gentle kisses and harsh nips. "There you go, isn't that better? Don't think, darling, just let us take over."

The answer is more than obvious considering how far gone your mind is. All you can fully focus on is the soft fuziness feeling your head and the pleasure you're drowing under.

"Daddy," you whine under your breath, your hips shifting against Natasha's mouth.

The redhead simply hums, lapping at your arousal like a woman starved. She doesn't want to admit it but hearing you call her that does things to her that she can't explain. There's a certain type of satisfaction she's never felt with Wanda, even when her girlfriend is in a more submissive mood.

It's what draws her closer to you despite how hard she tries to pretend like she doesn't care. And maybe she doesn't care, but the way she commits herself to making you fall apart, completely overwhelmed by pleasure tells another story.

Wanda's quick to notice how fuzzy you are by now, how perfectly pliable you've become with just a few soft strokes of Natasha's tongue against your throbbing clit. She lets go of your hands, trusting you not to move, before her fingers slip under your shirt again, trailing up until she reaches your breasts.

"Such a good girl for us," she murmurs, as her fingers find your nipples. "Such a pretty little pet."

You're stuck between wanting to arch your back and buck your hips. Ultimately, you end up doing nothing which is exactly what they like. It allows them to please you and use you in whatever way they want.

It's a little surprising how devoted Natasha seems to be to just pleasuring you, but your head is far too fuzy for you to try and think about that. The implications themselves aren't lost on you, though, and they only add to the growing coil in settled in your stomach.

"Don't tell me you're getting ahead of yourself, kotenok." The redhead leans back just enough to look up at you, dark green eyes drinking in every inch of your face. "Good girls don't act like greedy sluts, do they?"

"No, Daddy."

Your instant response makes her smirk and she rewards you by sinking two fingers into your wet cunt.

A gasp slips out of your parted lips and Wanda takes the opportunity to pinch and pull at your hardened nipples. The stinging pain mixes perfectly with the sudden pleasure and you can't stop your body from trembling under their expert hands.

"Please," you whine. "Can I cum?"

"Already?" Wanda chuckles. "Did I leave you too needy earlier?"

"Mhmm, so needy." You don't fully know what you're saying, you just know you can't hold back anymore and the last thing you need is to earn yourself a punishment. "Please."

Your words only seem to spur Natasha on and, instead of giving you mercy like you're asking for, she starts thrusting her fingers in and out of you, groaning as she feels your walls clenching around the digits. "Fuck, such a messy pet."

"I think she's about to get even messier."

The way they talk about you like you're not even there only adds fuel to your desperate arousal. There's nothing more for you to do besides wait for Natasha to decide to give you the mercy you're begging for.

You half-expect her to not give it to you just so she can punish you for it later. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and you're certain she's only gotten more obssesed with the idea since then.

"Yeah? Is Mommy right, detka? Are you going to make a mess for us?" You know Natsha's teasing you and yet you don't feel the usual flush of humilation. Instead, the warmth that floods you is exactly the same one you feel when Wanda uses her sweetly condescing tone on you.

They're such different tones, such different people, and yet you can't deny the way you feel about them. The way every part of you begs for them.

"Yes, please-" Natasha steals your words by curling her fingers inside your wet heat, your thighs shaking from the force of holding back your orgasm. "Wanna cum, please-"

Wanda shushes you, knowing exactly how to soothe you when you need it most. She doesn't give you the permission you need, though, and in your desperation, you miss the silent conversation the two lovers have.

The seconds seem to stretch into hours until finally, Natasha gives in. "Go ahead, detka, cum for us."

She dives back in, her tongue drawing circles on your sensitive cit as her fingers move in and out of your cunt. The pleasure builds and builds, spurred on by Wanda's fingers playing with your nipples.

All it takes is the witch pinching your hardened peaks once more for you to fall over the edge for them.

Your mouth falls open in a loud moan, your whole body shaking as the waves of pleasure overtake your senses. Even as you lose control of yourself, the two women don't relent or give you a second to catch your breath.

As much as you'd love to complain about it, you can't when all you can think about is the electric sensations coursing through your body.

You cry out as Natasha continues her assault on your oversensitive clit, your hips shaking as you try to move away from her. Instead of scolding you for moving so much, she groans against you, causing your walls to clench around her in response.

"Don't fight it, sweetheart," Wanda mumbles, her lips grazing your jaw. "Just let Daddy make you feel good. It's what you wanted, right? Now take it like a good girl."

"Uh-huh, fu-" Your attempts at words turn into needy sounds that spur the redhead on.

"One more, detka, do it for me, yeah?"

Despite your initial complaints, your body gives in to the pleasure almost instantly. It's not fully surprising but it's certainly overwhelming and it sends you deeper into the fuziness filling your mind.

Natasha does her best to hold you down even as your hips buck desperately into her face. She works a third finger inside you and it takes all your self-restraint to not fall apart at the feeling.

"Please!" You gasp. "Can I cum?"

This time, the witch takes over and gently guides you toward your orgasm. "Go ahead, angel, you've been so good for us, just let go."

So, you do.

You give up control and let go.

You're not sure what happens, all you know is your whole body tenses as the coil in your stomach snaps free. You're too far gone to realize what a mess you make of yourself and the sheets beneath you, but the satisfaction in Natasha's movements isn't lost on you.

She works you through the seemingly never-ending aftershocks, easing herself away from your clit and slowly pulling her fingers out of your cunt. "So fucking beautful..."

Your body finally goes limp and you practically melt against Wanda. Her arms wrap around your waist while she places soft kisses to every inch of your face she can reach. "Good girl. You did so well."

You hum in response, barely registering Natasha's movements as she does her best to clean you up.

The bed shifts when the redhead finishes and you instantly know she's moving away from both of you. You try to complain but the words don't seem to form.

"Shhh, just rest, kotenok, you need it."

You want to argue and assure her you feel fine, but you can't seem to find the strength to open your eyes. All you manage to do is whine, earning yourself a chuckle from Wanda.

"Don't pout, baby. You're my good girl, right?"

You wait for Natasha to correct her. To jump in and say you're their good girl.

But she doesn't.

And the longer the silence goes on, the more it hurts your feelings.

"Mommy..." You whisper.

She presses a soft kiss to your temple as her hands go back to caressing your sides. "I know. We'll figure it out later, just sleep for now."

There's little for you to do besides give in and let sleep overcome you.

* * *

When you wake up, you instantly notice the lack of warmth against you. Your head's still a little fuzzy but you feel slightly more in control now. You're also still pretty drowsy, though.

You attempt to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes as you lift your head, your eyes searching around the room for Wanda.

Instead of the witch, you find her girlfriend curled up in the reading chair in the corner of the room. There's a certain tension in her form that tells you far more than she'd like.

"Maria called," Natasha says, her voice colder than you've heard it in a while. "Wanda had to go. It sounded like she'll be gone for a few weeks."

Oh.

At least that explains why the redhead looks so...vulnerable and...lost.

Their relationship has always been a bit of a mystery to you. Despite the many nights you've listened to Wanda complain about the assassin's shitty coping mechanisms, you don't know many details about their connection.

You just know that somehow...they work. Despite their traumas and their pain, they understand each other.

And then there's you.

You're even less sure of where you fit in.

Of how Natasha feels about you.

"You can at least pretend to be happy to spend time with me," she says, effectively cutting off your thoughts.

"I am," you reply without skipping a beat. "I just...didn't think you'd be thrilled about it."

"Why? Because I'm the big bad girlfriend who has no feelings? Who doesn't give a shit about anyone?"

Despite her attempts to sound mad, her tone gives away how hurt she is. How terrified she is that you see her like that. That you think she's half as bad as the stories you've heard about her.

"No, I just...well, I know you and Wanda had that arrangement and everything but you didn't ask for this. I thought you just saw me as her annoying pet."

The corners of her mouth twitch a little as she tries to hold in her smile. "I did at first. It's nothing personal, hearing Wanda say she wanted you was...a little hard to deal with."

"Yeah, I figured." You sit up with your back against the headrest, your eyes absentmindedly admiring Natasha's features. Even with the distance between you, she looks stunning. "It wasn't easy for me either, y'know? I felt really guilty about it."

"That didn't stop you from sleeping with her the first time, though."

"Well, no but...in my defense, you can't exactly say no to Wanda when her mind is made up."

That earns you a quiet chuckle. "Yeah, you can say that again. Why do you think you're here? Wanda didn't want to let you go after the first time."

It's not necessarily news considering how things went down after the first time, but you can't act like your heart doesn't skip a beat at her words. The confirmation that the witch wanted you is one thing, but you're still not sure how Natasha feels. Something that's not surprising considering how closed off she is.

"And you?" You ask, hoping you sound less nervous than you feel.

It takes Natasha a few seconds to form her response. You can't exactly blame her but the silence makes your skin crawl. The fear that she doesn't want you, that she doesn't care, rises up within you the longer it drags on.

Finally, she eases your mind.

"Let's just say you've grown on me, kitten."

It's not much and yet it's more than enough for you. It reinforces the connection you've started feeling with her. The bond that demands to be nurtured despite how unusual it is.

Then again, wanting unsual things is kind of your thing at this point.

"You've grown on me too," you mutter, doing your best to ignore the warmth that spreads along your face.

"That doesn't mean you're not still our pet, though," she clarifies. "...if you want, that is. It can stay casual or we can turn it into more. We can train you. I can train you, if you want to be our submissive."

It takes a second for the words to fully sink in.

You nod before you even know what you're doing. You don't need to think about it, though, it's what you want. You want them. And all the little nuances that come with them.

Natasha watches you for a moment, her eyes studying you as if she's waiting for you to realize what you're doing and back out instantly. You can't exactly put your reasons into words to ease her mind. All you know is you've never wanted anything the way you want them.

Despite not being a mindreader like her girlfriend, the assasin is quick to move toward you once the thought of being fully theirs crosses your mind.

"You sure you've got what it takes, kitten?" She asks as she settles onto your lap. "I'm a lot to handle."

"I can take it," you reply, your hands landing on her waist without a second thought. "I want you."

Finally, your words are enough to break through her defenses. 

It doesn't feel like enough and yet it's exactly what she had wanted to hear. What she was afraid you wouldn't want.

"Then you have me," she says, her voice far softer than you've ever heard it.

There's so much you want to say, but words don't seem to be enough right now. So, instead, you lean forward and press your lips to hers.

You're not completely sure how you ended up here but you wouldn't trade it for the world.